


Then and Now

by stormbornbxtch



Category: The Gifted (TV 2017)
Genre: Brother-Sister Relationships, F/M, Incest, Incest cuz of Fenris, Shared Trauma Relationship, Smut, Soulmates, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2020-10-03 20:01:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20458643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormbornbxtch/pseuds/stormbornbxtch
Summary: Andy Strucker ran after the riots. Becoming a known fugitive all over the world, he left. He left her. Moments after their mother's death, when she needed him most he vanished.  Lauren finds him after two years, a broken man in the place of the broken boy she had grown to love. Then again, she's a little broken herself. Their relationship develops over the course of years as they find their way back to one another over and over again, discovering themselves in the other a little more each time. Pain, love, hate and primal need bound them together forever in ways no one else will ever understand. Fenris brought them together through a path they never though they would seek,  and maybe, it will destroy them the same.Set in different timelines depending on chapter, then and now.





	1. We Shouldn't Have Done That

**Author's Note:**

> Lauren is 22, Andy is 20.

**NOW**

_ Two Years After The Riots _

It was cold. Painstakingly so, the type of chill that seeped through your skin into the bone down to your very soul. Wind that left goosebumps on the skin even if you were wearing ten different layers, it must’ve been elevated by the rain. A gentle downpour that only made things worse but also more beautiful. God, what the fuck was she even thinking? She didn’t even know if it could be him, if she could even trust Loca to give her the right location after what she had just been rescued from. 

The little girl had been through hell thanks to Sentinel Services, maybe her powers weren’t even stable. He had been gone for two years, two fucking years and she hadn’-she hadn’t truly felt any sign of him since. Flickers here and there. After the riots, he had vanished. For all she knew he was dead. No, that’s not true. She did feel him, a flutter of his presence a month ago before she had taken her regular dosage of the serum but it was barely there. Gone as quickly as it had come.

Then Loca came, a refugee who could locate anyone and anything if she had some kind of former possession. Lauren had given her Andy’s jacket, the one she'd slept in almost every night for the past few years. Before it all went up in smoke and she didn’t see him. 

Loca said he was supposed to be here, Starlight Motel in the outskirts of Maine. Maybe he wasn’t, she was a seven year old girl after all and she had given her that information two days ago. Maybe he had left, maybe this was a shit idea. 

Yet she had to try. 

She had to know. 

After two years of not seeing his face, of not being able to talk to him or hear him or touch him…

She had to try. 

Lauren took a deep breath, grip tightening on the wheel of the Volkswagen Lorna had given her. This was it, she could do this. Carefully, she opened the door and climbed out, shivering a little at the feel of the rain on her skin. Pulling Andy’s jacket closer to her body, she shoved the keys into her pocket and slammed the door shut behind her. 

The moon was at its highest and she was thankful for the dim lighting it emitted. Room 412 in the left building, very back. She repeated the words over and over again in her mind as she walked. 

The doors were all a bleak grey color and the place looked like it could fall apart at any moment. 

  
  


**406**

He had to be here. 

**407**

For a second she still wished she had her power, not sure if the Andy she’d find was the Andy she anticipated.

**408**

He was still her family, her only family.

**409**

She could still see him in her dreams.

**410**

Did he still dream of her?

**411**

She shouldn't be thinking of that, not now. 

**412**

She felt her stomach drop as she read the numbers. This was it, this was him. Slowly, she reached up and knocked on the door three times. Loud and clear. She hoped he was okay, she hoped he was still here. She couldn’t-she couldn’t lose him again. She wouldn’t lose him again. 

When the door handle turned, she felt all her anxiety threaten to consume her. Everything she had worried would happen rose up in her chest like bile and then it was gone all at once. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked at him. 

“Lauren.” He breathed out, eyes widening as he took her in. 

He looked, broken. Eyes red and faded bruises that were still healing coating the sides of his face. Paler than she had ever seen him, he didn’t look as strong. Almost as skinny as he was when he was a kid, the hoodie he wore left his torso exposed. Intricate designs of black ink had made a home of itself on his skin. Lauren’s brown eyes trailed over it, instinctively her hand reached to run her fingertips over it. Abstract and beautiful on the side of his chest, flowing into his arms before moving into another design. 

A wolf. 

Teeth barred and eyes white. 

_ Fenris. _

She could feel him shiver under her touch and instinctively, she pulled away. Nothing good came when they touched, it just-it ruined things. Too many things. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked and the anger that had been bubbling inside her, all the rage and abandonment she felt when he left. He had been gone for two years. Complete radio silence, not even a letter. He had left her after everything they became, after everything they did. After everything they were. 

He ran. 

“I could ask you the same fucking thing! Two years Andy! You vanished out of thin air and I-” 

“I have neighbors Lauren and if they call the cops-” he stopped abruptly, pained expression on his features and she felt a bit of her anger chip away at the action. A dull ache rose in her chest as she nodded, watching as he moved aside for her to come in. She did and watched as he closed the door softly behind him. 

Being in his presence made her hyper aware of herself. Of her moves and she could feel her power, despite being dormant, stir inside her. Her fingertips brushed against each other as he turned back to face her. She was itching to do something, anything. 

“I’m sor-” 

She didn’t even register it happening until she did it. Until she felt the sting in her hand and the warmth blooming inside it from the sudden contact. The sound echoed throughout the empty room and Andy stumbled back. 

She hit him. 

And she felt like shit. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t. Fuck! I’ve thought about the things I’d say to you a million different times. I’ve thought about everything I would scream at you, over and over again. I replayed it in my head when I couldn’t feel you anymore. I just! You fucking left me Andy! Again! And I-I told you I loved you and you know it wasn’t like the other times! You know how I felt and I thought after everything you would feel what I-” 

The feeling of his hand against her own made her jump, halting her words on instinct. Soft prickles ignited in her at his touch as he gingerly guided it up so they could both see. Her breathing had turned rapid, she could feel it. She could feel Fenris, the surge of unadulterated power, of light and dark, of destruction and creation, of addiction and need. Of Andy. 

When he interlaced their fingers, she felt an ease wash over her being. A cool ocean wave after years of dry drought. 

They stood like that for god knows how long, her eyes fluttered closed as the comfort of him wrapped around her being. Without thinking, she closed the distance between the two of them, hand slipping from his own so they could wrap around him. Burying herself in his chest. 

He didn’t hesitate in reciprocating the act, she sighed in relief at the embrace. She had missed this. She had missed him. So fucking much. 

“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t stay. I couldn’t put you in danger. After what I did, you deserved better than the life I’m living.” 

She could feel the warm tears build behind her eyes, threatening to fall at his words. Of course he would think some stupid shit like this. She pulled away, only so she could look into his eyes. Only so she could make sure he was hearing 

“I didn’t want your protection Andy. I wanted you.” 

Andy sighed, pushing away from her. Turning his back on her like he had done so many times before, she couldn’t pretend a piece of her heart hadn’t cracked at the action. 

“You don’t get it, this isn’t about what either of us want Lauren! Do you know what this shit is like?! Not like when we first found out we were mutants, this! What I’m surviving, having my name and picture everywhere. Not sharing the target with other mutants because the only target is you! To constantly watch your back and to-” 

“I don’t fucking know! You never gave me a chance to find out! You just left-” 

“Because you deserve better than this! You deserve better than me a-”

“No! You do not get to decide what I do and don’t deserve! You don’t get to do that! Its my decision and mine only Andy!”

She wasn’t doing this, he fucking left her. He walked away before anyone could help him and bought this life on himself. He didn’t get to sit back and decide the life she chooses. He wasn’t her fucking father, he had no idea what she put him through. How many nights she hadn’t slept because she was worried about him. He didn’t get the fear of losing him, her other half. 

She hadn’t realized how close they’d gotten. How much she missed being this close to him.

“Lauren it's not that sim-” 

No more talking. Anything but that. 

Andy’s words froze in his throat as her hand touched the side of his face, he wasn’t breathing. The air rushed out of him in that second and she felt it. Everything they had ran from for years, all they had hopelessly resisted. 

“Lauren plea-” 

Then she kissed him, she pulled him down to her and connected their lips. He couldn’t resist it, neither one of them could. Not sense that entity consumed the two of them, not since they activated Fenris. This, whatever they were, was an addiction. An intoxicating affliction and a desire they had given into years ago. Before the riots, before their mom’s death, right before everything went to shit. There was this. 

And this was all she really wanted. And she knew he wanted it to. 

It was like clockwork, his arms snaking around her back to bring her closer. Pulling her into him as much as physically possible, sculpting her body with his own. Her hands made a home of his hair, planting themselves in the brown roots. 

They had been playing this game, of want and wanting since the day they activated their power. Since the day they joined hands and combined and felt Fenris. Since they had felt the bite of the insidious wolf that threatened to consume them and everyone around them when they were together. You can only fight power for so long before it becomes too much. Before you have to give in and accept damnation in all its sinful glory. 

When Andy kissed her, he kissed her to life. His hands knew her and her body like she had been shaped to fit under his fingertips. She sighed into him, shrugging the hoodie off his skin without a second thought. 

He guided them backwards, pulling away from the door. Forehead resting on her own as he turned them around, slamming the hotel door shut with his foot.

“Lauren I-.” 

“No, just-please don’t fight me. Not after all this time. Not now, not when I need you.” 

He nodded, hands traveling to the ends of her shirt and pulling it over her head. He unclipped her bra with ease, muscle memory she supposed. Andy took her in, stared at her like she was a goddess and he was the only person in the world worthy enough to praise her. She pulled him back to her, skin against skin, flesh against flesh as they kissed again. Slower than before, savoring her lips against his own.

His hand traced over the curve of her back and she smiled into him.

They fell together, the back of his legs hitting the rough motel blanket. She rolled of him and to the side. His hands reached to pull the sweatpants down his waist as Lauren undid the button and zipper of her jeans. Tugging both it and her underwear off at the same time. 

This was a dream, it had to be a dream. 

“You can’t be real.” He breathed out but Lauren wasn’t listening. She wanted him, she needed him. 

“Andy, please shut up and just kiss me.” 

He smiled, lazy and crooked and a hurricane roared within her. He pulled her back to him and she moved to straddle him, legs on either side of his waist. His lips pulled away from her own, moving to kiss her chin bone and down her neck. Right to the spot that made her knees go weak. 

“Fuck, I-” her breath caught in her throat as his fingers slid down to caress the side of her torso. Crossing over to lie between the valley of her breasts. He pulled away and she watched he studied her. Hands roaming of her skin, relearning the body he had mesmerized so long ago.

“You’re beautiful Lauren.” 

She had never doubted it but when he said it, she didn’t know. If felt more true in that moment than it ever had spilling from her own lips. 

Andy was beautiful too, in his own way. It was peculiar, the type of beauty that crept on you until it was the only thing you could see when you looked at him. Something special, rare. Something to savor. 

She kissed him again, hands tied in his hair as he reciprocated her motions. Like instinct, they moved together. Fitting into one another like two halves of one whole. Lauren reached down and grasped his cock, he sighed as she stroked. Aligning him with her entrance. 

She sunk down onto him, gasping at the sensation. Deep within her, making her feel alive, making her feel whole. He was the only person who could make her feel like this. So complete. His soul intertwined with hers. It was the only thing that made sense anymore. Like the world was faded before and was now clear. Everything in tact. The way it was meant to be. 

The way Fenris intended.

She rode him with a passion she had almost forgotten she possessed. His lips ran over every inch of skin as they moved in sync. She screwed her eyes shut as Andy gripped her back, stoking the fire. She smiled against him, “I-I missed you so much.” She whispered into his ear as his breathing quickened. 

“Not the way I missed you.” He told her, voice breathy and laced with lust. 

He flipped them over so she lied on her back as he thrusted into her harder, the sound that left her was inhuman. His arms lied on either side of her, gaze seeping into her own as he moved with a rhythm that left her mouth agape. And then it happened, she could feel it, the surge of power. The surge of euphoria that struck her like a truck, consuming her being whole as her legs shook beneath him. 

Her vision blurred as her eyes turned white, she could feel Andy buried in the crook of her neck. She reached for him, arms encircling his back and holding on for dear life as it took over. Reality slipped away as it happened. A rush of complete and utter power, an otherworldly feeling soared within the both of them. Detaching from their bodies as blinding pleasure consumed. 

And when the calm washed over them and gravity struck, when he pulled away from her neck and looked at her. Really looked at her, it washed over her and the relief was gone. Replaced with shame and guilt. 

It had gotten to her, the connection had blurred her mind. Stronger than ever before because of the distance and the time, fuck...instinct over intellect. 

“We-that shouldn’t have happened.” she found herself saying as he pulled out and cold crept up inside her at his place. 

Andy stayed quiet as he moved to lie beside her, “I know.” 


	2. Numb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mutants arrive to Clarice's safe house and Lauren begins to feel the effects of something she never thought she would have to again.

THEN

“How long do you think this is gonna last?” 

His question takes Lauren off guard, they hadn’t spoken to one another in days. Not since he came back, after that there had been a tenuous silence amongst them. Not quite comfortable but not unbearable either. Things were different after she had taken the serum and Fenris had lost its grip on her. Numbing her power had made her craving to be wherever he was, her need for it much weaker but it had also made her mind hazier. Things didn't quite feel real, like she was living in a daze. 

Yet it made it so much easier to be around Andy without feelings urges she shouldn’t have. She didn't think numbing her powers would numb her emotions too. Almost as if she wasn't feeling them as loudly as she did before, like she had muted them and the world felt dimmer. More black and white than it ever had. 

Their dad was dead and she wasn't sure if she had processed it yet. 

Andy had reverted back into himself, whoever that was now. He and Lauren had made up to a certain extent but not completely. Everything was on thin ice but at the end of the day they were all they had. And their mom, she had stuck by them and hid the pain of losing her husband as best she could. Lauren guessed it was an attempt to be stronger for them but she didn't have to be. They were strong enough on their own.

“I don’t know.” 

It was the truth. Clarice had brought them to the middle of nowhere, some kind of safe haven in North Dakota. She went on about the future and how they only had one chance of changing things. Basically, it could only get worse or better for mutants. More than likely worse. She had kept the other details amongst the adults, despite how much Andy and Lauren had proved themselves they were still just kids in the eyes of the others.

“Clarice told me where our rooms are, so just follow me.” Caitlin told them as she approached, reaching to kiss both Lauren and Andy's foreheads when she reached them. She look as tired and drained from the past few days as she felt, the grief was blatant in her eyes. She had been huddled away with the adults, absorbing all Clarice had to say in the corner while Lauren and Andy had stood mostly in silence waiting. Whatever they had to fill her in on was done but Lauren took note of how they still whispered amongst each other despite her mother's absence. 

The house was big and impossibly beautiful. Something you would see in a movie like The Notebook. The kind of house Lauren used to dream of settling down in one day after she had her career and married a man she loved. Beautiful kids who she could watch run around in the big yard without a care in the world. Dreaming of those things felt like a lifetime ago, she only dreams of safety and survival now.

They follow their mom up the porch steps and inside. It warm, almost congested in a way. Old furniture crowded the place, it looked like it hadn’t been touched in years. 

Their mom doesn’t stop to take it all in, just lead them up the stairs. It looked about three stories, enough to house them all and Lauren wonders how Clarice even knew about this place. Maybe it was from the future, it would make a good safe haven for mutants looking for refuge. Three flights of stairs until they reached their part of the home, the very top. Lauren could feel her thighs ache and for the first time she feels the weight of it all crashing down on her being. Exhaustion seeps into her skin in an instant.

“My room is at the end of the hall here, the two of you can pick between the ones across from each other. I don’t think there’s much of a difference honestly. I’m sorry, I’m just-” Caitlin trails off, moving to place her hand on her forehead as she takes a deep breath. Surprisingly, Andy’s the one who reaches out for her before Lauren can. 

“We know mom, it’s-it’s okay.” 

He’s never been the most comforting person but Lauren can’t help but smile at his attempt. 

“I just-I need some rest that’s all.” 

Andy nods, “get as much as you need. We’ll manage.” Lauren assures her and Caitlin nods weakly before turning around and making her way towards her own room. 

Without thinking, she turns to her brother and her eyes drift towards his own. She’s almost forgotten what shade of brown they were. The same color as the coffee their dad used to make in the morning, not enough sugar and way too much creamer. She had come to like it that way over the years, some part of her ached to sit with him in the early mornings when they both couldn't sleep. Sipping away at the warm mugs, talking about whatever came to their minds. The memory of him should've sparked an ache of loss within her. She felt nothing.

“So umm, ladies' first I guess.” 

At that, Lauren snaps out of her daze and turns towards their room doors. She doesn’t even think before falling into the one on the right. It’s beautiful, small but beautiful. With a window seat across from the door and a twin sized bed covered in a soft yellow blanket. Her gaze moves to the vanity across from the bed, covered in light dust. It's elegant looking, like something from a time her grandparents must’ve known and delicate. It sparkles a little at the corner where the sun hits it. She hasn’t had anything this nice to call her own in years.

There’s a wardrobe beside it and no closet. Not like there would be clothes for her to put in it anyway. 

The important thing is that it’s hers now. That she's here to bask in the simplicity of the comfort this room brings her. Her room now she guesses.

She doesn’t really know how to feel about that. 

“It’s weird isn’t it?” 

Andy’s voice creeps up behind her, she can feel her skin prickle but resists the urge to shiver at the sensation it sends down her neck. He doesn't surprise her but sometimes his affect on her will seep through the serum's numbing whether she likes it or not.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you I ju-” 

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” Lauren interrupts, hand moving to trace over her neck as she turns to face him. She can feel his hot breath fanning over it, a memory that feels like a ghost burning the back of her skin. Thankfully, the blush that forms on her skin is just masked by affect the North Dakota heat has on her, not Andy. He didn't know it was him. She was hoping it wasn't even though she already knew better. 

“I just-I meant it’s weird. Having your own room again right?”

Lauren nods as he speaks. 

“Yeah, it's been awhile.” She hasn’t had one in years, used to sharing with whoever was in the underground. She had gotten used to a communal living environment, the prospect of having her own privacy again is foreign but welcomed. She missed the quiet. 

“It was like that for me too when I got my room assignment for the circle, you’ll get used to it.” She nods again. She’s not in the mood to talk to him, she just, she wants to sleep. She can feel her eyes weighing down like lead. Andy takes the hint and leaves, not another word spoken and Lauren is grateful that he can read her so easily. Only for a second is she glad that he understands in a way no one else can. 

She moves for the door and for a second, she catches Andy pause at his own. 

Some part of her misses being connected to his mind and train of thought. Feeling what he felt. Understanding him the way Fenris allowed her too. But then she remembers the addiction she felt, how she couldn't be without him. She's glad it's gone, numb even if the rest of her is too. Lauren watches blankly as Andy disappears into his room. Closing the door behind him and leaving her alone with thoughts of Fenris and what once was. 

She figured once it was gone, it would no longer plague her mind. She must've been wrong about that too.

It almost feels like how it was before his powers revealed themselves. When she had no idea how he thought or felt or why he did the things he did. When their whole world was simpler, a normal that felt foreign to her. Almost. Because now she knows what that connection is like, what it feels like to be bound to him in the way Fenris did. How it felt when they combined powers and the world went bright and beautiful. 

Now that she's known that, she's not sure she can ever go back to the way she used to be. No matter how hard she tried.

~~~~

She felt it before it happened. An ache erupting in her chest, dull and weak but enough to stir awake. 

“Andy.” She breathes his name out on instinct, body alert and moving before her mind is. None of it registers, like a second nature taking over her as she moves towards him. Needing to be near him, across the hall and through the door of his room where he lies shaking in his sleep. He was sweating, mumbling she couldn’t make out. It wasn’t hot, the good thing about North Dakota was the ease of it. A cool breeze creeping upon the skin. 

Andy looked like he was in the middle of the Sahara.

“Silver I-” When Lauren’s hands moved to his own he jolted awake and upright. Panting and looking around wildly as he took in his surroundings. Lauren had barely registered her actions when she reached for his face, concern taking over as she watched him struggle to breathe. 

“Andy, Andy. Andy breathe okay, it’s me. It’s just me.” 

  
  


His eyes met her own and she could feel the tension flow out of him as their gazes met. Brown, soft coffee brown was all she could see. The intimacy was too much, too familiar to before she took the serum and Lauren forced herself to look away. Pulling her hand from his skin and to the fabric of the old shirt of her dad’s her mom had given her to sleep in. 

“How did you-why are you here?” Andy asked, breathless as his hands traveled down his own face in an effort to wake himself up. Lauren quirked her brow, realization washing over her like a cool wave. Her mind finally finding its place in the present, confusion clouding it. 

"I-I don't know." 

It was the truth, her gaze traveled to her hands. A sensation ran through them, like static calming in her veins. 

"I don't know." 

She whispered it more to herself than to him that time. Still trying to fully understand what happened. 

"Who's Silver?" The question comes before she can stop it. She doesn't want to question him, she doesn't mean to but something in her, it has to know. 

When she looks back at him, Andy's face is like stone. Frozen and the fear in his eyes sends goosebumps up her skin. She wants to reach out, pulling him close and reassuring him that whatever happened doesn't matter. That he's here, she's here and that it was okay. They were okay. 

She ignores that urge. 

"I-she's-" He can't get the words out. He can't talk to her anymore. 

"Get out." 

"What?"

She shouldn't feel the twinge of hurt that bubbles up at his words. She shouldn't wonder what she did wrong to earn that kind of response but she is. And she hates it. She feels like a lover scorned and it shakes her to her core. 

"Get out." 

This time, she listens. Turning on her heel quickly, hoping the hurt on her face is masked before he can see it. Their Fenris connection is broken but the things he learned about her while they were in that state will never leave him. He knows her better than most, maybe better than she knows herself and that’s frightening to say the least. 

Her feet drag across the wood and for a moment, she feels the invisible tether that bound them together for so long in her chest. The feeling send shivers down her spine before it's gone just as quickly as it had come. Her pace quickens as she crosses the hall, shaking the feeling of eyes watching her as she did. She doesn’t think when she slams her door behind her, the noise making her jump. 

She can feel her heart pounding against her rib cage, emotions at a whirlwind as the realization of what happened settles in. 

Fenris. It’s re-awakening. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since an update, hope you guys enjoy.


	3. Fleeting Moments of Bliss and Shame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lauren and Andy finish their confrontation and she tells him information that will change the course of their future forever.

**NOW **

She could feel his breathing beneath him. Gentle calloused fingers stroking up her spine as they laid in the dark. The moon acting as their only light. Lauren’s free hand traveled up his arm, resisting the urge to whimper in pain when she felt his track marks. 

“How long?”

She could feel his body constrict beneath her. He was scared of her judgment, of her rejection. Sha had grown past that, no longer in denial of him or Fenris. She knew what it felt like to have it eating away at you, the distance alone could kill either one of them over time. Erode at them in every sense of the word until they were nothing but hollow longing ghosts of who they once were. 

It had been years, she had taken the serum to numb herself. To not feel it. Andy was alone and on the run, the power seeping from her into him and she didn’t want to think of what it forced him to suffer through on his own. 

“A few months, on and off.” He told her and she ignored the clench in her chest at the confession. He had stayed strong for so long. Lauren moved to kiss his chest, relief flowing through her as he relaxed into her chest. 

“Are you on-” 

“No. Not for the past two weeks. I just-I needed to-” 

“-be numb.” She finished for him 

He didn’t respond, just moved to kiss her hair and Lauren seeped even further into him. 

“You’ve changed.” He whispered. 

“So have you.” 

They were growing too comfortable in each other’s presence. They had to be alert, Lauren hadn’t told him of she and Lorna’s plan but she doesn’t want to ruin this moment. She had spent so long fighting him, fighting Fenris and what it meant for them. It was rare to find peace and calm with them both. 

“I have a theory about Fenris.”

“What is it?” 

“Maintaining balance. For so long, it felt like the light and dark of the force had to fight one another. Be in constant turmoil but I don’t think that’s the case. I think it's about finding balance, learning to coexist. As one of us grows darker, the other grows lighter but what if-'' she paused, taking a breath as her hand lightly traced his exposed pelvis bone.

-”what if we found a way to balance both amongst the two of us. Neither one of us being completely light and dark-” 

“But a balance of both.” He finished for her and she nodded. She had missed this, having someone who could read her. Understand her better than anyone else. At first, it had been unsettling but over time it had grown into a comfort she could revel in. Like now. 

They laid there, intertwined in each other’s arms for as long as they could. Lauren listened as his breathing slowed and for a minute she wanted to allow him to lull her to sleep with his breathing. She couldn’t though. 

“When I reached out to you...through Fenris...you never reached back? In our dreams, you’d turn away from me. You shut me out completely after the riots and-” 

“Lauren I-” 

She sat up, forcing herself away from his warmth. She caught sight of them in the mirror directly across from Andy’s bed above the dresser. Completely bare and closer than they had been in months. Closer than brother and sisters should ever be. It was startling, seeing him beside her. Knowing it was real and not another fantasy she had conjured up in her free time was another jarring element. He was here. This was real. And they were still as fucked up as before he left, maybe even more so now.

For a moment, a flicker of comfort and ease ran through her. Seeing them like this. It was gone as soon as it had come, the realization of just how sick this was. How sick they were began to slowly sink in and she forced herself to look away. He was her brother. Her little brother and here she sat, lying with him as if they were lovers. Not if she supposed, as lovers. That’s what they were now. She wasn’t sure if that thought should’ve brought her peace or disgust.

Even after all these years, the shame had yet to leave her. Her want to fight it however had dwindled significantly. This was who she was. She would have to learn to accept it one day, denying it was an exhausting feat she had lost the strength to maintain it long ago. It was too natural of an instinct. It was all she had longed for since she lost it. 

“I thought it would be easier. You saw what Sentinel tech could do? When we share dreams and thoughts, who knows if they would have classified it as using our power? And if they could see that we used our power recently, we sleep too often for it to not always be recent and-” 

“If they had seen either one of us, cornered us then we’d be captured and our abilities taken to be used against other mutants.” 

Andy’s hand moved to travel to her chin, pulling her back to face him. 

“And losing dreams of you was better than losing the reality Lauren.” He told her and she smiled sadly at him, eyes watering a little at his words before moving to close the distance. Pressing a soft kiss to his lips, it was soft before he moved to deepen it. His hands moved to either side of her face, pulling her closer to him. 

Lauren melted into him, moving to grip his torso as they fell into each other. He guided her down until her back hit the rough mattress. She had so much to tell him, so much that was left unsaid but as Andy’s lips traveled down her neck in a way that left her mind hazy she found herself losing the will to speak. Eyes fluttering close as a distant memory long forgotten flashed in her mind. 

_ “We shouldn’t...we shouldn’t.” Her words were lost against Andy’s lips as he kissed her with a passion she had only hoped to dream of as a little girl. This was the feeling every romantic longed for. The feeling that consumed pages of sonnets and novels acclaimed by the mortal realm. It was all consuming. And it was just as shameful as it was blissful.  _

_ Andy’s lips trailed down her neck, his hand wandering from her own to trail down her hips. He moved from her thigh and up. She moaned against his touch as he neared where she needed him most. This wasn’t right. The immorality of what this meant. His hand ran over her clothed cunt and she shivered. Arching up into him as he moved from her neck, to her lips. She kissed him back, whining into him as he cupped her.  _

_ Lauren couldn’t register anything other than this. The feeling of his body pressed against her own, of his finger wandering to unzip her pants and creeping inside her underwear. His hands moved to her warmth, pointer ghosting over her clit making her cry out in pleasure. Andy swallowed her moan, moving to apply more pressure as she instinctively humped his hand.  _

_ He pulled away and the need to protest rose up within her.  _

_ “Please.” She breathed out.  _

_ He didn’t say anything as Lauren’s eyes opened, first setting sight on his bruised lips before catching his eyes. Focused on the door and not her.  _

_ She followed his gaze and her heart stopped.  _

_ “Lor- _

“-na.” 

Andy pulled away from her at the sound of the name. 

“What did you just say?” 

Lauren took in a shaky breath, reeling in all self control she could muster as he stared down at her. 

“Andy,” she knew once this was said. This little bubble they had created would be popped and avoiding the future would no longer be an option. But if it meant that their future could be led together and not separately, moments like this night would no longer be as fleeting as they had been in the past.

“She’s alive. Lorna’s alive.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter than normal, sorry for how long this update took. Please let me know what you think.


End file.
